When the Bubble Pops
by EyesLikeAJungle
Summary: One shot. Takes place in the summer between seasons 1 and 2. Max asks Tess to hang out. Much better than the summary I promise!


Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

I am a Tess fan. I think how she was written off the show was lame and her character could have been developed so much better instead of completely butchered. I also wasn't feeling the whole Liz/Max thing from the beginning. So far this is a one shot but could possibly be developed into more. Anyways. Read and review please!

When the Bubble Pops

The sun is beating down on me as I walk the streets of Roswell. You would think I'd be nearly used to this damned heat after consecutive months of it, but that's not the case at all. I can feel the sweat gathering in places I didn't even know I could sweat in. Thank God the pool is finally open. I enter the gated area and find a chair to put my things. Immediately I strip down to my red bikini. The wind on my newly exposed skin is one of the greatest sensations I've felt in a while.

Laying in a lounge chair, I let the sun beat down mercilessly on my pale skin. As far as this summer's going, not using sun screen while laying out might be the most exciting thing to happen. So far it's been nothing but a wild destiny goose chase. Trying to wrap my head around on why my supposed "love" doesn't even really like me has been completely taxing. Nasedo always taught me that I was better than humans. Stronger, more powerful and beautiful and smarter. The human part of me represented weakness. Humans are weak and let their feelings get in the way of every important decision and can never see something for what it truly is. All their problems are petty and unimportant especially to someone like me. A Queen of an entire other planet. A planet that is currently in a bloody war with no end in sight. Especially since their King doesn't seem to really give a shit. I've spent my summer trying to make him remember. Remember his home, his family, and me-his wife. I've been trying to make him realize what his destiny is but his head is so wrapped up in that stupid little human. A human I could easily destroy with a flick of my wrist. But I can't do that. I'm not a ruthless killer. No matter how much Nasedo wanted me to be that way, like him, I couldn't.

I remember one time when I was younger, he ran over a dog or cat or something and when I started crying told me I was weak and disgusting and no queen should cry over a soulless creature. He always told me my human side was getting the best of me. At the time all I could think was that I wasn't a queen anymore. I was a 12 year old girl who happened to really want a pet dog and maybe I was letting my human side get to me. I never understood how that was a bad thing until the first time Nasedo hit me and threw me across the room leaving a dent in the dry wall. I never cried again after that. The only time I ever came close to it was when I saw _him_ for the first time with _her_.

 _It's my first day at Roswell High and instead of walking into the place like I own it, I keep to myself. There's something different about this town and school. It almost feels like home. Like where I should have been this whole time and that makes me feel uneasy. If Nasedo were standing next to me he would tell me to stop acting like such a little girl. But he's not here and I'm nervous. This is the closest I've ever been to my true family. This is the first time they will ever see me. They've been living here this entire time and have created lives that I know absolutely nothing about. I've been raised alien and taught to act human which only extends to not using my powers in public. But Zan, Vilandra, and Rath- they were all raised differently. Raised by humans, living with humans, probably keeping the other half of themselves as a secret. What if they don't accept me?_

 _That's ridiculous! How could they not accept me? I bet they remember me. Especially Zan. I bet he's been waiting for me all this time, even looking for me. Missing me and counting the moments until I was in his arms again just like I have been my entire life._

 _Scanning the crowd of these pathetic mere mortals, I search for my love. I can feel him. Something in my bones tells me he's nearby. There he is. Standing by his locker. He's beautiful. Just as beautiful as I remember him to be. Same face, same strong body. I remember what it felt like to be pressed against that body in the middle night after hours of making love. I grow warm at the prospect of that happening now in this life time._

 _He's looking this way. I try to will his eyes with mine to look back at me. His are the same deep warm brown. He's looking at me now. I smile and he smiles. He's moving towards me now and I can feel my heart pounding. This is what I've been waiting for all my life. For the moment I was back next to him. Home. Finally home. He's getting closer and the happiness I feel radiating inside my chest in indescribable. He remembers me. He still loves me and wants me. I try and tell my feet to move but I can't. I'm rooted to the spot. He's half way to me. His smile grows and grows and now he's kissing someone else. Someone that's not me. Her hair is brown and she has tan skin and her arms around his neck and he's…holding her. My Zan is kissing someone else. Someone that's not me. Someone he couldn't even mistake as me. Someone who is undoubtedly a human girl._

 _Tears prick at the back of my eyes. My heart slows down right before it feels like it stopped. My throat is thick with a desperate cry I need to release. My ears ring and I swear this what dying must feel like. I can see how happy he is with someone that's not me. How could this have happened? He's my destiny. How did he not see me? Why isn't he coming to me? I thought I was his._

 _Then I hear Nasedo in my head. Telling me to stop being so human and be the strong alien queen he taught me to be and claim what is rightfully mine. Claim who is rightfully mine. Plans begin to formulate behind my eyes on how to get my husband back._

Obviously those plans haven't worked yet. Not on any of the three of them. I've given up on destiny at this point. To hell with it and him. If he doesn't want me then I'll find someone else. There's always the option of Kyle. Jim's gone a lot and I suppose me and him could have some fun. There's also the other countless guys whose eyes I have seemed to catch. Why should I spend my time being lonely when I don't have to be? But of course when I finally build up enough courage to date, _he_ shows up.

I know he's standing above me, trying not to block my sun. "Hey Max," I open my eyes and meet his brown ones.

"How do you do that?" he asks. "Always know when I'm nearby?" he sits down on the chair across from me.

"I don't know. Alien thing maybe," I say dismissively.

"Huh, right. So how are you, Tess?"

"Hot," I close my eyes and return back to my previous state of relaxation.

"Yeah," I hear him mutter to himself. I smile and turn my attention back to him.

"Can I help you with something, Max?" I ask, trying to sound annoyed. I've realized the more distance I put between us, the more I just try to be his sort of friend the more he responds to me. I know I'm trying to move on but whenever he comes near me that will goes out the window.

"Umm…yeah I was wondering…if maybe you wanted to hang out later? My parents are gone and Michael has a date with Maria, Isabel and Alex are hanging out and Isabel specifically told me I was not allowed to come. So yeah…I thought maybe we could do something?" he's looking back and forth between me and the ground. He's nervous and it's adorable and I want to say yes but I'm pissed. I sit up on my elbows, secretly hoping the position extenuates my chest so my rejection stings him that much more. I see his eyes linger on my body before he brings them back to the ground. My ego swells knowing he at least finds me physically attractive.

"What am I? A last resort? Everyone else is busy so now you have time for me? What the hell, Max, now you decide that you don't hate me? No. I don't want to do anything later. Especially not with you," okay the last part is a lie. I want to do everything with him but I can't let him know that.

"Tess, I don't hate you," I scoff and roll my eyes. I lay back down and try to ignore him hoping he'll get the point and will leave me alone. "Look, I know I've been a jerk to you and I really am sorry. I haven't made it seem like it, but you are important to me. I've been wanting to spend time with you for a while but haven't had the nerve to ask. Please, Tess? We can do whatever you want," I look back at him. His eyes are pleading. Pleading for me to say yes. He actually wants to spend time with me for the first time. But why should I?

 _Because you love him._

Do I though? Or do I just love him because that's what I was taught? I look at him and know immediately that yes. Yes, I am irrevocably in love with Max Evans. Not with Zan the Alien King. Zan and Max are two different types of people and I would chose Max Evans any day.

"Okay," I tell him. "I'll come over around eight."

"Okay! Yeah, sure great! I'll see you then," he leaves with a triumphant grin and me with a million butterflies in my stomach.

It's 8:30 on a Friday night and I'm sitting on the Evans' couch across from a very uncomfortable Max. Since I've been here it's been nothing but silence and him awkwardly trying to make small talk. After five minutes of no conversation I cave. "Max, why did you ask me to hang out?"

"I told you because-"

"Yeah yeah I know what you told me but what's the real reason?" I stare at him hard, willing him to answer my question.

"I just… I mostly just wanted to talk to you. Ask you some questions. If that's okay?" he looks at me and of course I can't deny him. I nod my head yes.

"What was it like growing up with Nasedo?" something in me turns and I decide I don't want to talk about my former father figure.

"Awful," I answer shortly.

"Why?" he presses. I stare at him trying to figure out if he wants to know for alien reasons o because he wants to know something personal about me. The way he's looking at me with genuine curiosity, and concern, and fondness? Have me thinking it's the latter option. I take a deep breath.

"Well, Nasedo…he… he didn't understand humans. Never understood their feelings or anxieties or problems. He didn't understand I was half human. I mean he knew but he always taught me to be more alien. The last time I cried he hit me and through me across the room. My favorite moments with him were when we were around humans and had to act normal. He kinda felt like my dad then. I knew it was just an act but it was nice to feel…loved. Wanted… even if it was just for a few minutes," I finish and I can't believe I just opened up to him like that. I wanted to stop. Wanted to shut my damn mouth but once I started I couldn't stop.

"You've never felt loved?" he asks disbelief is his eyes. I shake my head no. "Did you love, Nasedo?"

"Yeah," I respond quietly.

After a few minutes he asks, "What do you remember about me?" that's it. I shut down. I look at him and try not to cry. "Tess?" he touches my hand and I close my eyes tight. Why would he ask me this? After talking about Nasedo. After I told him I've never felt loved or wanted why would he want to make me remember a time where I was? When I was so, so happy? I open my eyes and try to keep the tears behind them.

"I don't remember much," why am I doing this? Why am I telling him this? "When I remember things it's more like… your energy. I remember how much you loved me. How much I loved you. How I was the only one who really made you laugh. The way that you kissed me and held me. When you'd reach out for me in the middle night," I want to tell him more. About our first kiss. Our wedding. The first time I saw him. But I can't. My eyes are closed and I don't even realize I'm gripping his hand until he's pulling it out of my grasp. Then I feel his arms wrap around me, bringing me as close as possible to him. My legs wrap around his waist and I'm sitting in his lap now. His hands run up and down my back and I relax into him. His breath tickles my neck. I pull myself closer to him. Before I know what I'm doing, my lips are on his. The kiss is short soft and sweet.

"Sorry," I apologize immediately after I pull away. "I know you don't like it when I push, I just-"

"It's okay," he pushes my curls out of my face. I relax a little knowing he has no problem being this close to me. "When was the first time you saw me? You know in this life? Did you know who I was?"

Taking another deep breath I nod my head.

"Yeah. I knew who you were," I smile at the memory of seeing him for the first time. I climb off his lap but he doesn't let me go far. I settle into his side as he holds my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles. "I saw you down the hall. You were with Liz," I save all the sad details not wanting to seem too pathetic.

"Oh. I'm sorry," he says.

"Any other questions?" this Q & A has been going on way too long.

"Do you really think we're supposed to be together? You know…destiny and stuff?" I laugh. Why is he asking me this? I know I was shoving destiny down his throat before but every time I even uttered the word he freaked out.

"I hope so," I tell him honestly. "Being with you is the one thing I've always wanted. And whether you want me or not, I'm never going to stop feeling what I feel for you. As much as I would like to move on and have tried to, I know I'll always be waiting for you," he's looking at me with an emotion is his eye I can't quite place. He opens his mouth to say something but then kisses me on the forehead instead. "Wanna watch some TV?" I ask trying to lighten the mood. He nods and grabs the remote. He turns it to some black and white rerun.

"Come here," he stretches out on the couch and pulls me down with him. My body lies on top of his, his arms rubbing my back, and his warmth surrounding me. I close my eyes and let myself relax. "Thanks for coming over," he tells me quietly. I kiss his chest softly in response. His chin is resting on my head and for the first time ever I'm not angry or bitter or sad. And as Max's hands play with my hair, and his heart rate increases every time I move myself against him- I drift off to sleep with my hopes way up high.

I wake up not remembering where I am. It takes me a minute to recognize the living room. There's an even heartbeat against my ear. The sound brings me more comfort than I ever thought possible. I look up to see Max sleeping peacefully. I smile happy to know that he's mine. Maybe not officially or maybe not ever in this lifetime will we be together but a part of him will always be mine.

I trace the lines of his face I have memorized so well. The curve of his jaw, the bow of his lips, and the straight line of his nose. He's hard and soft and perfect. That feeling of love radiates through me and I push it down. He doesn't love me and I need to stop expecting him to. I need to stop trying. I lay my head back down on his chest and try to enjoy this small moment with him. Knowing at any moment he could push me away like he has before.

He stirs in his sleep and panic over takes me. I don't want this to be over. I'm not ready. He moves and I try not to cling too tightly to him. His arms wrap around me tighter and he flips us onto our sides. My front is pressed against his and my back is to the wall of the couch. His arms are still around me. He rubs his nose against mine and I giggle. We must look so disgustingly cute and happy and only Max could bring out this gross girly side of me.

"Hey," he opens his eyes and looks at me with a soft smile.

"Hi," I try not to gasp when I feel his hands against the skin of my lower back. A million tingles shoot through me and I try not to squirm too much.

"You're cold," he tells me with a dissatisfied look on his face. He pulls a blanket resting on the back of the couch down over us.

"Thanks," I whisper snuggling into him more, if it's even possible. Peace and calm wash over me as we just stare at each other. There's a light glow from the television set casting dancing shadows across our faces in the dark. I feel at home lying so close to him. Like I've done this a thousand times even though it's just the first.

I want to tell him this. That he's my home and I love him, but I don't. I know that as soon as the sun comes up this could all be over. This perfect delicate bubble we're surrounded in right now is a ticking time bomb about to pop any second. I know he still loves Liz and he's probably just lonely and knew I would be there for him. The peace and calm are gone now. Replaced with sadness and longing and fear and I don't even know what. Whatever it is must be written all over my face because he asks me what's wrong.

"What are we doing?" I ask quietly, afraid if I speak too loud the bubble will pop faster than I'd prefer.

"What do you mean?" he's also quiet. Maybe he's worried about breaking the bubble too.

"Max, this isn't fair. You know how I feel about you. That I…"should I say it? I can't say it. But he already knows it, everybody knows it, so why not just fucking say it? "…that I love you. And being with you like this, right now, I know this is what I want. Where I'm supposed to be. You're my home, Max. But I know that I'm not yours," great, I'm crying now. I've gotten to weak. Too human. I've learned to hate this side of myself and I wonder where Nasedo and his backhand are when I need them. God, what the hell is wrong with me?

"Tess, I-"

"What the hell?" Our moment is interrupted by the sound of Isabel's voice. But of course she's not alone! Where's the fun in that?! No but she's with my biggest fan, Maria, who will no doubt relay all of this to her best friend. The lights are flipped on and I'm sitting up next to Max and out of his arms.

"We fell asleep. We were talking and we fell asleep," Max answers lamely. I roll my eyes at him.

"Looked pretty cozy for just talking. I didn't know you were into alien whore homewreckers now, Max. Remember it was your relationship she wrecked with all her 'destiny' crap?" Maria retorts.

"Excuse me?!" I exclaim. Whore? Are you fucking kidding me? Does she have any idea how many guys I've even been with?

"I'm sorry, was I talking to you?"

"Maria, stop it," Isabel commands. She's staring at me and I see a small semblance of our friendship that quickly fizzled out. I smile softly at her. I look back at Max and the guilt all over his face makes my stomach churn. God, why did I tell him all that stuff? Just so he could go and run back to Liz Parker knowing perfectly well what it would do to me? I need to get out of here.

"I'm gonna go," I say standing up before putting on my shoes.

"No," Max says trying to stop me and spare my feelings.

"You're right you should go," Maria taunts as I push past her. It takes everything in me not to knock her unconscious. I reach the front door just to be stopped by Max. He opens his mouth to most likely apologize but I stop him before he can.

"Thank you. I had a good time," whether that's true or not is up for debate.

"What you said," I break eye contact with him when the ridiculousness of what I said comes rushing back. Sure it's true, the ridiculous part is that I actually said it to him. I turn to leave but he grabs me. His hands are in my hair and his lips are on mine. My eyes open in shock but then I relax into him and kiss him back. It's soft and slow and romantic and so Max. He tastes and feels so much better than I thought he would. There's no flashes but a plausible energy surrounds us. I cling closer to him and deepen the kiss and the energy grows.

"Wow," he whispers after pulling away. He's looking at me like it's the first time he's seeing me. Really seeing me. There's adoration but also fear in his eyes reflecting back at me. He's scared of me.

"Good night, Max," I kiss him one more time before I walk out the door. I hear the sound of our delicate bubble popping.


End file.
